May 10, 2026

Morning is Wiser Than the Evening

I was talking to a friend the other day — another creative, a magical sword dancer, and the woman responsible for the one and only gig I have booked in Europe so far (😅).

She asked me how I was feeling about everything. And by everything, she meant my wild plan of leaving America for three months to go busk through Europe.

I told her: “You know, I wake up and I feel incredible. Reborn. Motivated. Full of ideas for music and writing. But as soon as I go to bed, darkness veils everything. Intrusive thoughts take over and imposter syndrome kicks in.”

Now that I think about it more, I wonder why there are two versions of me every day.

One Katya is wildly excited for this upcoming adventure. She has been waiting to do this since she read Consuelo by George Sand as a teenager.

The other Katya turns back into a scared 19-year-old at the Manhattan School of Music being told by a Russian violin teacher — along with many other people throughout my life — to quit music. Some thought I wasn’t good enough. Others thought it wasn’t lucrative enough. Others just saw it as too difficult a life.

Then I wake up and start this fucking madness all over again.

Luckily, I had an incredible role model in my life — my grandma. She used to say to me all the time: “Stop thinking so hard. Go to bed. Morning is wiser than the evening.”

And honestly, she wasn’t wrong.

Every morning I wake up inspired again. I believe in myself again. Deep down, I know I have enough skill, stubbornness, and magic to pull this off.

I just need to teach PM Katya how to believe in herself too.

Because she is the same woman as AM Katya. Same violin skills. Same whimsy. Same magic.

Just a little more tired from dealing with the real world all day. And if any of you have ever worked in the serving industry — especially a Mother’s Day brunch — you know exactly how brutal it can get.

Side note — can we do away with buffet culture for good?